|Why do we fear death some
days more than others? Have you ever ask yourself that question? We all know
that there are some days or times in our lives that we buzz along without a
thought of death, as we are too busy living and engaged in the now. These are
our most healthy moments. But then something happens to wake us up to the stark
awareness that we are mortal. |
Monday, October 29, 2012
Reflecting on and Sharing Gut feelings of Emptiness and Aloneness to Deal with Feelings of Fear
The following is an account of how the feeling of fear as a flag of an underlying gut feeling of emptiness was discovered by one of the authors of "What's Behind Your Belly Button?". We thought it might be useful to share this experience and encourage anyone dealing with fear during and after the current tropical storm (or any other storm), to remember to reflect and share your feelings. The very act of sharing how you feel can diminish fear to a manageable amount. Understanding that the fear has to do with more than just the storm at hand, but about how you feel in your life at this time in general, is an important clue to know how to both reflect on the feeling and share it. If you have been feeling lately (prior to storm announcement) a little out of control in your life in general, try to share that with a person close to you. It may have far more to do with how you are feeling about this storm than you would think. Sharing your feelings will calm you and probably the listener too! If you have no one to share these feelings with, then try writing it down. Journaling your feelings, either privately or in social networking if you feel comfortable with that, can be a big comfort. Feel free to share what you are going through right here in the comment section. Sharing your feelings will undoubtedly be helpful to other blog readers and we will be a caring community for you during this time.
It is important to understand the anatomy of what your feeling of fear really is. Rather than indicating an outside danger over which we have no control, fear is a necessary signal that generally indicates there is some emptiness inside of us that has not been shared and exchanged with another person. Reflecting on the gut feeling of emptiness and sharing this feeling can help you deal with even a gripping fear and unit your body-mind connection so you can function successfully.
Exert from What's Behind Your Belly Button? on the intelligence of gut instinct, page 83- 85
"Fear is a psychosomatic response reflecting our inner instinctive feelings against a perceived danger. When we are afraid, our logic is focused on our sense experience, telling us that there is a condition out there with which we are inadequate to deal. The psychosomatic feeling being experienced is related to the instinctive feeling of emptiness within us. Our logic generally tries to project the fear onto the situation rather than take the responsibility for the feeling of emptiness and we judge our selves inadequate to cope.
"If we are in a boat in a storm and afraid, the fear does not come from the situation but more from the underlying emptiness in our aloneness that we have not shared with another person. There may be some real danger in coping with the situation but the fear, which we experience, is not really produced by that danger alone. The danger is the trigger of our inner feelings. The feeling of fear that wells up in us always relates to an inner feeling of emptiness previously experienced. The “gut knot” accompanying the fear is the somatic response to the emptiness, not the fear of the immediate danger.
"The fear indicates that we have had some specific experiences in our lives in which we have felt empty but the feeling was not accepted or perceived to be shared by others. Instead of being able to share the empty feeling with someone who would accept it, we have accepted the judgment that we are less than for feeling empty and inadequate to deal alone. These judgments, accumulated over a period of time, are triggered by a current event in our life and "cave-in" on us.
"I began to realize that fear had little to do with the outside situation or object that I feared and more to do with my own emptiness when I lived in Florida [in the 70s and 80s] and we would have hurricanes [regularly]. Some days there would be an announcement that a hurricane was possibly on the way to our town and I would be in a complete panic. I felt like I was going to be completely overcome, my whole family wiped out and death was impending. But in truth, it may not have been much of a possibility that it was even coming our way at all and it may have been a very small hurricane. Then another week, an announcement would come of an approaching hurricane, a much bigger one than the last and much more likely to hit our town. But surprisingly, I would barely care about it and go about my day, taking some hurricane safety precautions, but otherwise acting and feeling as if it was nothing to worry about.
"I found this difference in reaction very curious and after experiencing this random fear versus calmness in the face of danger; I began to reflect on my feelings on those days. As I felt through the days I had these experiences, I could see that on the days I feared the hurricanes, feared my death and the death of others, there was always an underlying emptiness, with which I came into the experience. And the emptiness had to do with how close I felt to others and how in control of my own responses I was already feeling in my normal life just prior to the hurricane announcement. The hurricane was then just a trigger event and my fear was a signal that I was already feeling empty and out of control on a deeper level of feeling. Sharing this with another human being who could accept my feelings generally relieved the fear and I could focus successfully without panic on taking proper precautions needed for hurricane safety and felt a relief of stress."
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